Wendy's Writing Rulkes of Rest Version 1 or 2

WENDY's WRITING

The rule of rests:

There will be a short pause before Continuing.

(Count to 5)

After which there will be small breaks (count 2) and gaps (count 3) between words (count 4) until the next rest.

(Count 6)

There will then be continuous gaps with meaningless noises in them- which (errrrr) you (I errr …….) will (…………) recognise (…….) as (………..) hesitation.

(Count 7)

She who (……..) is ( count 5).
There will now be a brief pause while we remember those of us who have got lost.

(Count 15)


There will also be a pause for thought.

(Count 20)

Which we will follow with a moment where we all stop and consider what has just happened and then there will be a moment when we all start again and forget the last pause completely.

(Count 3)

But it will be followed by another moment when we stop and wonder why we started up again so fast after the last pause

(Count 8)

And we might be thinking that maybe that lastpause was a bit too brief to really do justice to the initial event?

(Count 2)

And in our anxiety (count 1) and confusion we (count 3) will begin to pause at different times but (count 2) get frustrated that we (count 3) cant really assert a good weighty pause into the atmosphere. (Count 2)



So we will pre- arrange a group pause, on a given signal, with some rules attached and we will agree that it will happen right now—from now until then

(Count 25)

- Although it may not be the same kind of pause that we were looking for.

(Count 5)

It may, in fact, be more like a gap which we know has a definite length and we may slowly start to feel a bit like we are waiting –like we are being a bit dutiful, but
We will surrender to the pause from now till then.


( Count 25)

So, from now until then.

( Count 5)
now and then

( Count 4)

I think

( Count 1)

Language.

( count 3).

BLOODY LANGUAGE.

The insistence,
The sheer bloody insistence- spelling it all out, , dragging it all up ,
stamping all over your hard earned pause. your hard won quiet.

Bastard language – spouting stuff like Yours and Mine and I and You with all that pluralized WE/US Caring and sharing all over you .

Enough of all those crap words with their Aren’t I clever, Look At Me, fancy pants tautology. .
All those wannabe explanationions- umming ahhing and, erring til Kingdom Come.
A bit of analysis here, a bit of opinion there and a bucket of hearsay to wash it all down with and what about all that
I’ve Just Been Down and the shops and bought myself a whole new sentence structure with words like Leaked and Smart and Ambigious And Death Row and Mexican Radio dropped in and out like a dictionary on heat.


Bring back the quiet. Reinstate the silence.
Those smart arsed words start creeping in, throwing their weight around.
It used to be just
( count 15)
No arguments, no misunderstandings, no discrepancies, no indecision, none of that problematising or thematic definition,
But first it’s a little bit of “ we all understand something different when you say…” and a little bit of “ I don’t really know how to say this but” there and before you know it its:

good morning/good afternoon and it is indeed and I get lengthened and shortened and have you got the code and is Elizabeth your proper name? and Tripleting queen and Symphony and yeah its nice and my drummer is a computer and my typewriter is on narcotics and my pen is on acid Single Controversy ,Steroids in a million years and yeah America - Show me, Show me .
And Could we gather together for a moment and has anyone got any thoughts on and shall we share and does anyone want to knowing I may unplug and Yesterday I was lost –Today I have found myself –Hallelujah Hallelujah- Praise the Lord- and it may not last.
And I imposed myself on myself and made choices and I'/m used to a silent empty space- and like to get into my vest and pants and I realise – I felt happy. And can I ask…were you ok with people joining you?
And -I had to join the dots to make it work.
or
If you invade me- ( and it was very funny) I had parallel experience- and there was a generous amount of time to attune myself and Is there a task? and we were saying that space was very slow- Just to take some time to roll over and start locomotion and how you frame what you do and I can only consider.
And the edges and boundaries and space to listen to , and feel a containment and too many edges and sometimes its too much to think about.
And I so not wanted to be there in the middle of the space. And I wanted and enjoyed it , it was great and why did you? and did you make a decision? and why? Why? you were and I don’t know and maybe I don’t know I can’t remember and I can guess. And you chose and interesting and again its retrospective and I think that I didn’t think beyond that and its interesting and I felt it doesn’t surprise me and I surprised myself and I liked and I liked and I’m not phased and do it to death till you die and what you said
, “ single minded and clear choices “,
and I was drawn to it and if I’ve learnt nothing else I think I know I am –and as I/m thinking I/m constructing and I/m kind of pushing - I/m pushing it .
And we don’t know and we can only guess and suggest and we only know from texts and words and this is what I/m currently thinking about if I come into it and I feel so lost , I couldn’t find the space and I guess I was asking for me, and I thought I was thinking “ why and erm, and I/m not ? “and I try and maybe I was asking the wrong question and I am trying to have something so far away from me , and I and I am curious to know more what is happening when we do this and I don’t know my place, I never had a mentor and I always found myself not yet capable and what I do is…………………..
know fully and I don’t know what else to call it . I’m struggling and my starting point is --- I don’t know and I don’t know and I was born in 1972 and this is who I am and this is what I bring with me and yes, I was wondering what it is and Yeah ,Yeah , I read a book about it and I’m so far away from it and yet……
I don’t know. I don’t know where to start .What do I bring.?
And I enjoy , `I really enjoy it and I don’t feel the need and I just want to be and I gather and I like that and that’s how I’ve been taught and for me is the same. I think performance always has to have an audience and I think my main question is :
What err , errr, ……….? And I want know more.
I can’t and I don’t really separate myself and my starting point is ermm –
I err -I don’t know where my boundaries are and I know what you’re saying and I have to say-, if you know what your identity is - I could tell you-. I didn’t come into create work and I don’t think you’re asking .
I think my main question is this …
I wasn’t in the space and I was told so I went and did then I came and I decided to be practical about it and I/m not free so I said ok and I came and looked and I said I’m going to start getting ready and when I can start doing what I want to again and where I can be free .
I can play and I can choose and nothing to do with you, that’s why I left the room.
I thought and you did. I didn’t and you didn’t and you could have chosen .
And also
Sorry I’m confused, and not you telling me to go there. I cleared and ran round for a bit and I chose , I tried and I warmed .I did my stuff and I was just practical , I saw your parents and I took and used it.
And We used to wait and we can’t make any sound and you were trying.
and I came, I saw and logged and I tried not to be and maybe my better question is :
Could you and what is the nature?
I am so accepting and are you looking for a name I wonder. My question is , Berlin ?

Everywhere people do this and there you go. I just enjoy doing this and that’s it . And maybe I’m more interested and I didn’t do it and I never found myself doing it and of course I know I can love it and I don’t want to find out, I understand what you’re saying.
And we all have our various reasons and for me its about because I want to be and I want to be as I came in ,with an expectation, and I was ready to throttle. I put myself in and I think there’s a……… I think there’s very practical reasons and you always have to produce something and I find this extraordinary . I would like more of this and can I ask you why.
And I loved and enjoyed and when I went home and thought through, I enjoyed that business and today I finally woke up and wanted to try and make myself .
I would see people and when I looked around and set off ,that’s me imposing .
I will sit and listen and at that point it ended for me and you didn’t want to and that I found that I wanted to be .
And you weren’t blank and I was really fighting an urge and put myself in a place. I am rigid and I want to ask is there anything practical?
Or I am still exploring and I am going to serve somebody else and I am going to honour somebody else and I am going to write codes and other signs and I found myself very comfortable, and I didn’t have any big urge, I stood up and I felt perfectly fine there. I felt like myself and I am feeling this need
and I just enjoyed and I enjoyed the fact and I am part of and in the same way I was sort of ok ok and–how was it for you?
And I think I heard something and because its so everywhere I thought it was all about and then I found it was and I realised what should I do?
I want to dance and I’m just trying to explain my experience and I started and clocking the space and other than my space you know I just followed my nose and I could try and be economical and I can’t errrr……..
I don’t know the attempts and the needs and something like this: lets say as a practise I believe and I just have a belief and if I watch and check out my very own fears , very own courage and behaviours, actions and things like that and do find myself in- will find myself in trusting and maybe I can get across.
And the formal details are just details and whether all of this things I am just trying to get through and I’m, I’m a bit……………..
and I left and I was really sick of and theatres and social stuff and I started and I don’t even like that word anymore. I? and can I put my body into something?
and all of that I think and I wonder and I think and I think and I think and think and how can you tell?
and I thought and I thought I can’t do that and I thought I miss that and generally in my life I want stuff to maintain and I was thinking I wouldn’t call it a practise and I would call it experiencing and you have to be you
and sometimes I found it and didn’t disturb it. And
I thought it was terribly funny and you don’t set off and I like the non verbal and its because its me and I just removed myself and I just put on trousers and you see- I loved it and I thought it was great
and. I was writing and I thought , once you start- just kept on going and I thought I can’t go and I held on and paused everybody .






and so errrrrrr-
“ I just liked and it was hard and I could have done that and what’s the point ?”
you know I kind of feel what’s the worse that can happen?
you know - push me around come on and can you relate to that?,
I’m always available and maybe at the end of the day I think
; would I be dead ? would I be injured?
and I enjoyed just following that and then at some point I turned round and saw you in your pants and I started crying a bit and I just decided I would just take a moment and I think I got a bit jealous and I realised I kind of was holding and I was quite disappointed and I hadn’t seen that and ermm ermm ……………..
and I don’t know what to say really.
I did a bit of erasing and I read and I knew and I read and I wanted to and I nearly had you and I just wanted to try it and wanted to and also didn’t and I had a moment and you stopped me in my track and for me and you I don’t want and on a personal level I copped out of that one and I thought and I thought you copped out and you dropped out and then you didn’t cop out and you could have chased me .
And
: don’t start dancing with me if you’re not going to finish it”
: you didn’t yeah :
“I’m quite glad I’m not what I think”

and
my writing and your lighting and I’m listening to desires and can I and why don’t we? and I’m cured and

hallelujah and hallelujah

and we all are and we live in the world and I think we all are and I mean it , no I mean it more and we started to notice and you became and I gave myself and found out that I uttered a few words I didn’t speak today .

( Count 10)


There will be a short pause before continuing…….