Scott Smith Day 12

I feel as if the process (my process?) is stripping away extraneous habits of making/acting, or perhaps the assumptions of 'studio time'. Its all feeling genuine in the cultivation of 'research' up to now. That a kind of environment is being engineered or contexualized, for creative behaviors to take place in. Maybe even watching individuals process of realizing that there is nothing to get 'right' at this point in the process, and that one might go ahead and experiment.

Its been interesting to watch several proposals/tasks being introduced, that on first consideration, could seem simple or economic in their forms, become in practice potentially complicated, and baroque in their results and responses. Or perhaps, its the individual responses that are complex. It feels like the more we remove superficially or obviously, the more there appears to be existing under the surface of events. Also, the realization that there is room and scope for individual or idiosyncratic responses to the contexts and circumstance, and that these individual responses are what constitutes the material in many ways. Perhaps that even the work so far for me ( I was absent from the first week of RandD) has been about establishing context for the work to take place in. The word trust comes to mind, though this word has been used to death by now for me. Perhaps confidence would be a more appropriate word.

I want to say, that this, as a working proposition, feels very generous and supposes a trust in dancers and musicians that is rare (in my experience) in contemporary dance projects. Its my belief, that this is the sort of adult process that is often missing in dance practice(s), and that it could cultivate a kind of maturity amongst an ensemble. A context in which individuals might cultivate a faith in their very own opinions, actions and responses to artistic process as valued informations and materials.

I am feeling at the beginning of my second week of work, the absence of the younger people leah and Noam from the first week. In some ways I feel a bit more free to exercise more vocabulary, and more complex dialogue, but on the other hand, their presence kept me on some edge of needing to try and communicate with them if possible. Like being in a foreign country where I might not assume to just blabber away at people with my use of english lexicon. The term mixed abilities comes to mind. And really, we are all truly, mixed abilities. Not in any hierarchical way, simply to acknowledge difference as human.

I am enjoying the dialogue. Or simply, the talking. I sense this aspect of the work is different for different people in the work group(s), and want to keep an eye on my tendencies to want to develop complex verbal processes, as I delight in verbal expression and process, and can discuss ideas et all, for ever. The dialogue however, seems an example of respecting performers intellects, as well as their bodies techniques etc, and I am all for cultivating performers as thinking beings, as I feel dancing in particular is infantalized by the hegemony or culture. Thats a rash generalization, but this perception is consistent for me anyway.

I was invited to this RandD as a musician as well as a dancer. I would like to be finding analogues for music/sound more in the ...... What do you call them??? Exercises/ tasks/ research/ propositions/ studies/ rehearsals/ scores/ practices/ examples...Work-shopping I dont reckon, the acts of musical behaviors, are that much removed, from the acts of dancing behaviors. But then, I am searching for synthesis I think.

It's all composition. Isn't it? I want to reclaim the word composition. Composition as a constant act of individual organization and response to circumstance. The organization of the body, the organization of the mind. The readiness to act, and assume form. To notice that ones actions, movements, sounds, stillnesses and silences create ongoing choreography's of existing, of survival.

Interesting to not be handed a theme as such upon my arrival as such. I am sensing something about Charlottes desire or interest in new methods for authoring work, and respect/ appreciate the space and context she seems to be providing for forming the questions. Perhaps something is developing in regards to this. I am choosing to not end the previous sentence with a question mark. I want to challenge even grammar at this point. The question is a statement...

Its interesting to me that I have no idea who will read this. If anyone. Im happy to do it anyway. Thats true of the working process so far as well. I realize that there is some onus for public access or interface as regards public funded arts endeavors. I would like to think, that this is the sort of work that cultivates the participants artistic sensibilities towards whatever projects they collaborate in.

I think the arts should exist (be able to exist) because they provoke or challenge whats known culturally. Assumed culturally. The cannon. Stasis of history. How might anything ever change otherwise?

So there are some thoughts after my own six days in the process. I will look forward to six more or so.