TWO AND A HALF DAYS WITH CHARLOTTE.

By Wendy Houstoun

“THINGS THAT CAME UP”

Forming tasks from question. Some kind of desire to get away from emotional interpretation/ emotional charge/ and yet the question of what to replace it with.

The portrait gallery and talk of self-portraits.
Some need to keep logging- and yet logging what.
How to stimulate discussion which everyone participates in.
Maybe a question of how to listen.

The Steven Daldry painting and the placing of the individuals in the frame-

The desire to see things in from of you- but from the outside the reason is unclear-

Like- I want to see Rachel do the disgust thing into the help thing-
From being in the room I am not sure why and it almost feels like a too private desire to be able to share in.
It doesn’t seem to have a question underneath it; more a feeling that needs to be satiated- and it seems to leave everyone outside of idea progressing.
Similarly with – I want to see something lyrical-
Or maybe I want to see something happen…

And this reminds me of Valentina’s exercise- where I could feel I was rushing things to happen- to try and provide entertainment- to fill up the time- to move forwards to time- rather than soften and “allow” something to happen….

So then I have the question- how do we set up circumstances that allow something to happen- rather than trying to make something happen-

This reminds me a bit of the thing I did with Rachel and how afterwards she was saying she noticed that she was moving backwards- (the woman’s part in the tango) and Valentina was moving forwards (the mans part)-

I think it’s interesting about whether physically we move forward into something- or move back and allow something to come in-

Maybe like the pause Rachel is talking about in yoga- that moment when nothing is happening- it isn’t retreat- or asleep- its alert and yet listening and doing nothing-



Whether there is someway of trying to think about a thing and what it needs- rather than what I want from it- does this connect to moving forwards – moving backwards or just sitting still in that pause moment??

More on logging:

(This is written as if initially the time is being accurate).

11.00. and thirty seconds- the dance is starting.
11.00 and forty seconds- the dance is continuing.
11.00 and fifty seconds- the dance is following its predictable course
11.00 and
11.01 and ten seconds- flesh is hitting the floor. The cartilage is softening and the spinal column is beginning to open up.
11.01 and thirty seconds- arching is taking place/ twisting and some kind of weight shift

11.02. And ten seconds – boredom is beginning to show- some kind of resistance- some kind of disinterest.

11.02 and fifty seconds- the movement is beginning to decay. The form is being lost- the shape is becoming vague- blurred at the edges and fatigue is creeping in. some kind of change in the breath pattern.

11.03 and thirty seconds- the breath is laboured and facial muscles are beginning to drop. Fatigue is increasing and persistence is leading the action to become empty.
Questions of motivation arise. Questions of desire. Questions of uncertainly and doubt creep in.

11.04. - Hesitancy has increased.
11.04 and
11.04 and twenty/ no thirty/
11.04 and fifty seconds- stillness. The temperature has dropped and the breath is steadying. There is residual action in the extremities but the core stays stable.
11.05 and thirty seconds- flesh is hitting the floor- - inner surfaces of the skin are brushing against each other and the blood pressure is rising. Engagement is increasing and
11.06. – The synapses are firing quicker. Weight is transferring faster. The brain has surrendered. Impulses are coming faster .the foot –hand- spine – knuckle and –toes spreading as breath deepens – and
11.17- questions of space arise. Questions of location. Questions of surroundings.
11.08- the dance continues.
11.09- the – floor comes up to meet the foot/ the ceiling is spinning / disorientation is beginning. The back of the wrist is confronting an unknown space/ temperature is rising and the vision is blurred/ remnants of spine arcing are visible and residue of earlier step patterns are in evidence/ heart rate quickens and becomes unsteady/ questions of truth emerge. questions of authenticity. questions of control. Questions of interpretation start to occur in rapid succession:
12.01-and twenty seconds- emotional confusion starts to appear. Questions of memory occur. Questions of impact. Questions of turmoil. The body has lost spatial references. Vision has distorted. All sense of location has been lost and the rhythmic structures are in disarray. Fractured linear patterns can be witnessed, as can broken impulses. Thwarted attempts to jump are increasing and the take off is under attack. Questions of provocation start to become important.
The heart rate is unreadable.
No discernible impulses.
Unpredictable gestural patterns.
Shape and form are not lucid.
The synapses are not firing and there appears to be total breakdown in form.

12.30.and thirty seconds. - Dancer is stabilising. Blood rate has fallen and activity had dropped. Residual confusion can be observed in lower part of the body, while upper torso wrestles for control. Muscle softens and spatial orientation is regained.
Gaps begin to appear between actions. Breaks begin to appear in impulse.

12.31 and fifty seconds- facial movement is becoming more plastic. Rise and fall of breath is easy and frozen appearance of shape is starting to disappear.

12.40- dance continues. Questions of repetition occur. Questions of re-enactment become obvious. Questions of inhabitation. Questions of narrative. Questions of interpretation. Questions of ambition. Questions of perception. Questions of endurance. Questions of satisfaction. Questions of change. questions of redundancy. questions of tolerance. Questions of joy. Questions of pleasure. Questions of love. Questions of partnership. Questions of leadership. Questions of happiness. Questions of communication. Questions of participation. Questions of contentment. Questions of when. Questions of where. Questions of how. Questions of now.

As I’m writing this I am sitting in a hot yard in Vienna. There is music Arabic music playing. Plaintive voice of man-going on and on and on and on and on.
But the sun is moving so fast (we are revolving so fast) that I am having to move my chair every few minutes. It’s another kind of logging. A real time logging of how quick we are revolving and even as I am writing this sentence I am having to move back once more because the sun is making the screen unreadable.
Like the shift of that light in the studio. Signs of revolving. signs of time.